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Jennifer's books

Goodbye, Vitamin
American Fire: Love, Arson, and Life in a Vanishing Land
Mrs. Hemingway
Poetry Will Save Your Life: A Memoir
The Princess Diarist
Watch Me Disappear
Hello, Sunshine
Peak Performance: Elevate Your Game, Avoid Burnout, and Thrive with the New Science of Success
A Man Called Ove
The Heirs
Our Souls at Night
White Fur
Confessions of a Domestic Failure
The Map That Leads to You
The Little French Bistro
Love the Wine You're With
Always and Forever, Lara Jean
Midnight at the Bright Ideas Bookstore
The Party
New Boy


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Monday, May 22, 2017

10 Ways My Daughter Has Driven Me Crazy in the Past Month

It is no secret that my daughter makes life interesting. She is full of zest, spunk, and mischief. In her little life, she has already done so many things her brother did not prepare me for. It’s a good thing I love her unconditionally, and that I have a husband, family, and friends that help me avoid the brink of crazy where she sometimes drives me to. Here is a list of things she has done in just the last month:

1. She climbs her dresser and gets stuck up there during naptime. This has happened multiple times now. The furniture is anchored to the wall. Thank God.

2. She got a peanut snuck up her nose.

3. She gave the dog a bath in the middle of the kitchen floor using just a cup and the water dispenser from the fridge.

4. She locked herself in her brother’s bedroom. The doorknob came completely off. Derek had to drill into the room to get her out.


5. She emptied an entire UPS box full of packing peanuts all over the floor of my closet…where they still remain.

6. She fed the dog an entire container of dog treats.

7. She stole my makeup, put it all over her face, and hid it.


8. She decorated herself with a lunchable while in car line.

9. She fed the dog my mouth guard.

10. She drank a bottle of infant Tylenol that she found and opened on her own. She also fed it and the teething tablets she also opened on her own to the dog. I had to call Poison Control for the 2nd time in 5 months. The first time was when she ate her brother’s science experiment.

From this list, you can see she keeps our lives exciting. When I am at the point of freaking out because of her latest “thing,” I am grateful I have people who can “verbally slap” me through the phone to help me snap out of it. And, for my parents, who reminded me that I once put a watch in an electric outlet, blew the power to an entire house and burnt my hand. Kids are crazy. 

PS. The number to Poison Control to program in your phone is 1-800-222-1222. 

1 comment:

  1. Haha--and yikes! It always amazes me how different our kids can be. I mean, really, by the third child, I'd think I'd have it all figured out, but NOPE. Every day is an adventure, and every day I think I might lose my mind! (BTW--why are child-proof bottles so hard to open for moms, and yet so easy for kids?! It's one of life's mysteries.) Hang in there, my friend...

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