Tales of a 3K Field Trip - In Haiku

We wake up early.

Go meet the bus at the farm.

Forgot the muffins.

Kids are delighted

Plenty of giggles and hugs

For their little friends.

Learn to plant berries.

Three year olds do not listen.

They just want to run.

Keep kids from the road.

Kids have forgotten farmer.

I am herding kids.

On to the next stop.

Wait! There’s a two-headed cow.

Kids will have nightmares.

Now it’s tractor time.

What are all these stinky smells?

E-I-E-I-O!

Kids learn to milk cows

But they quickly lose interest.

Why? There’s a kitten.

Children chase the cat.

They start crying when it runs.

They want to hold it.

There’s a big surprise.

One of the cows just gave birth

Fresh slimy baby

Daughter pets the calf.

The one still slimy from birth.

I am so grossed out.

I am a bad mom.

I force her to wash her hands.

She’s a thumb sucker.

The sh@# hits the fan.

She loses control and wails.

And she does not stop.

She is still screaming.

How dare I make her wash hands?

She’s getting louder.

I will win this one.

Pour on the sanitizer.

Ha ha ha. I win.

She does not give up.

Hands may be clean, but she’s mad.

I’ve released the beast.

She’s getting louder.

She’s screaming for her teacher.

Teacher’s eyes get big.

Now I pick her up.

But in her rage, she slides down

Lower and lower.

Now I hold her hand.

But in her rage, she drops down.

Slowly dragging her.

I’m totally done.

Tell teacher we are leaving.

Tractor’s not ready.

So I have to walk

And carry my wailing child

To the parking lot.

It’s such a long walk

That a farmhand volunteers

To give us a ride.

I tell him “No Thanks.”

No one else deserves this wrath.

I walk, hold, and pull.

Tears all the way home.

Both of us are now crying.

Finally get home.

Put her straight to bed.

Stare into oblivion.

Day is not over.

She wakes up contrite.

But I am still exhausted.

Field trips? Count me out.

Today was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day for this mom. And while the day did not go as planned, my little angel did have a moment in there with more excitement and joy than humanly possible. Thankful for a Savior who teaches me daily about love and forgiveness and gives me opportunities to live it out.