Jennifer's books

Goodbye, Vitamin
American Fire: Love, Arson, and Life in a Vanishing Land
Mrs. Hemingway
Poetry Will Save Your Life: A Memoir
The Princess Diarist
Watch Me Disappear
Hello, Sunshine
Peak Performance: Elevate Your Game, Avoid Burnout, and Thrive with the New Science of Success
A Man Called Ove
The Heirs
Our Souls at Night
White Fur
Confessions of a Domestic Failure
The Map That Leads to You
The Little French Bistro
Love the Wine You're With
Always and Forever, Lara Jean
Midnight at the Bright Ideas Bookstore
The Party
New Boy

Jennifer Curry's favorite books »

Thursday, May 17, 2018

Farewell to Moms Club

Five years ago, almost to the day, I joined Moms Club. I joined Moms Club at the end of my first year being a part of MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers). That means for the last six years I have been in one moms' group or another.

For those of you not in the know, moms groups are places where mostly stay-at-home-moms (SAHM) meet during the day with their little ones. In some ways, it is like a grown-up sorority minus the shenanigans. There are dues. There are women who cause problems and women who solve them. There is throwing up (but from the babies this go around). There is what feels like “instant connection” when you meet another woman in “your club.”

And, those moms groups saved me. If that sounds extreme, it is. But, it is also true.

See? All alone.

As a transplant to Spartanburg (and a pregnant one), I entered mommyhood without any friends. And, I desperately wanted friends. I went to the places I thought I’d find them and failed. Pregnancy yoga? Nope. I was the only one there for the whole weeks-long session. Meaning I did pregnant yoga alone with just the instructor. It was weird.

We visited churches where it was clear that while they were welcoming, they already had their people and did not have room for any new friends. I truly do not think this was mean-spirited. In fact, I think it is totally natural and something we have to fight against. We get too comfortable to recognize that the newbies may be just as desperate as I once was.

I tried mommy and me classes, but I was more nervous about my kid’s behavior and how I’d be judged for his behavior to make friends. Looking back, he was a complete angel. I was an uptight idiot. There was one sweet fellow mom who invited me to MOPS that fall. After hearing about MOPS from others, I decided to give it a try.

And, lo and behold, that is where the moms where! Throughout the lonely pregnancy and the first few months of Knox’s life, all the moms had been hiding out inside of church mom groups every week just waiting for me (and every other mom in the county) to come and find them. Hooray!

So many moms in one room!

From that point on, life got easier. While I didn’t necessarily make new best friends, I was no longer alone. I knew that if I needed something, these sweet women would be there in a hurry. And, for someone living in a city with a baby and no family around, this was a tremendous weight off my shoulders.

After my first year and my zest for MOPS and Jesus (MOPS is a religious organization; Moms Club is not), I ended up running it the next few years. After my experience, I recognized that I had a passion for women walking through that same season of life and I wanted to honor what God had done in my life by extending that welcoming embrace to others.

Because I saw the beauty of MOPS, I decided to take it a step further and join the local Moms Club as well. Trust me – when you are home with a baby all day, you want your calendar full. Moms Club has a packed calendar meaning I could find other mommies any day of the week.

For me, Moms Club became a safe haven. Since I wasn’t in leadership there, I was a little more comfortable letting my hair down. And, for a few years, I did both moms groups simultaneously.

But, after the birth of my second child and serving as MOPS coordinator while wearing her strapped to my chest, I said my goodbye to MOPS but chose to remain in Mom’s Club. Around this same time, we moved across town, my son entered kindergarten, and I started working.

Once I started working, it became much harder to make the Moms Club events. Truthfully, I’d only been making the ones that were kid-free anyway since my daughter went through a 1.5 year long phase where I could not take her in public. But, eventually, those didn’t make it on the calendar either.

The friendships I made have certainly extended far beyond those groups. For instance, all the women in my Faith Dinner Club have some sort of connection to me through either MOPS, Moms Club, or both. My books clubs are extensions of Moms Club.

Now, as my daughter starts 4K and my son enters 2nd grade, and I have transitioned to working from home on a daily basis, it is time to say goodbye to Moms Club.

While I am no longer on a MOPS or Moms Club roster, I will continue to sing their praises loudly. They were a cold drink in a dry desert. I needed them desperately and what they offered was life-giving. 

Women need other women. Moms need other moms. If you are in a similar position, I urge you to give them a try.  

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